Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
