Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
