did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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