the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
her vagine was all disorganized.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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