you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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