just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
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He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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