oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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