lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
