How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
