the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
