Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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