I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
