Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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