I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
