the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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