She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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