don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me