A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove