Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

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(509): View more from Washington

Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.

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(587): View more from Alberta

Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(231): View more from Michigan

Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday

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(312): View more from Illinois

Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me

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