His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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