i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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