Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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