im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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