You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize