I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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