trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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