You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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