All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
its not stalking. its research.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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