I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
