Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
