This girl is more easily done than said...
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
