is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize