you guys were way drunker than both of me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
