like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
