There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
