Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
