I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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