Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
