you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
