I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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