You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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