we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
