Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
