Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
