Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
