My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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