lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
