a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
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Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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