You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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