at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
