Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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