good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
