I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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