nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
