I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
