im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
