A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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