I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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