Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
