sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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