Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I need to calm my uterus...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
