i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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