isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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