i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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