I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
